Thursday, June 2, 2011

Enough is Enough

Social media sites are here to stay apparently. Any business worth it’s salt has a place you can “LIKE” them or an @handle you can mention them. It’s all apart of marketing their brand and getting their name on your fingertips. But social media sites like Twitter, Facebook, and MySpace for all you kids still hanging on to Black Planet, is also individual’s little corner of the Internet reserved for their personal lives. They post funny pictures with friends, videos of them out and about, statuses that either glorify their everyday lives and call attention to their activities. Or they cross the line and post entirely too much.

I was on one of these sites the other day and discovered a “friend” had posted a picture of something so out of line, I had to write a blog about it. So without further adieu...

Pregnancy Test Sticks. Yup, the aforementioned friend posted a picture of her positive pregnancy test. Not only is this soooo tacky, it’s also bad luck! Aren’t you supposed to keep pregnancies under wraps until twelve weeks or something just incase? I saw that picture and immediately thought A) there’s urine on that stick and B) if she’s like this with just the discovery of pregnancy, imagine what my timeline will look like when she’s in labor. I hid all future posts.

Sonogram Photos. I don’t know why all my peeves have to do with pregnancy, but I guess it’s just that it seems so incredibly personal. Something exciting for you and your loved ones to share, but not for 1,279 of your closest followers or facebook “friends.” I don’t know about you, but there are many a times when someone pops up on my Facebook timeline and I’m like Who is that and when did I accept their request? Anyway, I’ve seen A LOT of blurry doctor pic in which I can’t even tell there’s a baby in the first place. There’s usually an arrow pointing to Baby _____ so I guess that helps. But it’s just too much.

Personal Spats/Fights With Significant Others. This always drives me crazy. You see two people going back and for on your Twitter public timeline and you think to yourself, “Can someone please pick up a phone and get off the Internet?” I know we live in a technology nation these days and no one under the age of 300 picks up a phone anymore, but goodness, if you’re gonna break up or lament how horribly he’s treating you, can you at least DM or Private message? We really don’t need to see that. And if you keep being so incredibly emo, you will get unfollowed…at least by me.

Bathroom Pictures. Ok, I understand that’s the only place where the mirror and lighting are JUST right, but every time I see one, I feel like I’ve just entered some personal space and you might have just finished dropping a load or something. These pictures are even worse when you’re wearing minimal clothing and yes, I’ve seen lingerie photo shoots on my timeline. Gross.

Relationship Status Extremes. There was a news story several years ago about some groom stopping his wedding right before he kissed his bride and right after the I Do’s to sign into his Facebook account on his Phone. He changed his status to Married and everybody laughed (including the bride) and then he laid a kiss to his new wife and ran down the aisle to his happily ever after. It sounds cute for a news story, but in real life? You gotta be kidding me. That should be the last thing on your mind.

What it comes down to is these sites are all public. It may seem private because it's just your friends, but we all know the Internet is called the WORLD WIDE web for a reason, meaning anyone can have free reign over your "private" sites. Don't put your personal business on front street. It's Facebook for goodness sakes! Not the Holy Grail of life.

Add your own, what’s driving your timeline batty? What gets someone deleted asap?

That bitch stole my line,


Blackie Collins

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

(Not So) Free Falling

(Photo note: This is what happens when you google "girl falling.")

I was having a conversation with CJ (for those new to the blog, he’s the ill best guy friend ever and I talk about him a lot on here) and was filling him in on my love life-he asked. When I told him I was trying not to fall hard for this guy, he said, “You’re always falling for someone.” I took such offense to his comment, so I decided to write a list of the last 5 guys I’ve dated or crushed on to prove my point that I haven’t liked anyone for real in a really long time. (Current situation notwithstanding)

Wife Bob. This nickname came from one of my closest girlfriends when I started describing some of his behavior. She insisted he was trying to “wife me” all the time, hence the nickname. Wife Bob (WB) is the closest I’ve come to an actual boyfriend in quite some time, yet I was still running from it. He is/was an incredibly great guy, just not the guy for me. The whole time we dated, I kept feeling like something was off and when I realized he and I were meant to be friends, I broke it off immediately. Especially since I started feeling like he was getting closer to Exclusivityland than I was.

Thug Life. Everybody’s favorite thug. I definitely got caught up with him and there are blogs on here to prove it, but I was by no means in love with Trey and every time he said it to me, something felt wrong with the comment. It just didn’t feel right. Add that to the fact that he was crazy and a liar and discovered he had fathered two children years ago on FACEBOOK, there was NO way that relationship would’ve gone anywhere, but to hell in a hand basket. And if I really felt all I could’ve felt, I would’ve never left him.

The Engaged Guy. I never really talked about EG on here, but I had a massive crush on him for years and eventually started messing around with him last summer after he and his then fiancĂ© started falling apart. The funny thing was that he’d been chasing after me or laying the foundation months before he and his fiancĂ© actually broke up. The whole thing was a mess actually because people found out and rumors flew and we eventually just stopped talking. He hit me to let me know he was in town, but we ended up arguing and blah blah blah. Always knew he wasn’t Prince Charming so it didn’t really phase me.

Paddington Bear. You can guess why this was his nickname; he looked just like him. A complete left turn from the kind of guys I usually dated, this chubby nerdy guy and I just had amazing chemistry. That was really it. We’d talk and laugh and be cool (he’s actually a friend to this day), but it just never really jumped off. He had an ex-girlfriend he was dealing with and I left town for work, so it didn’t really matter.

The Youngin. Do y’all remember The Youngin? I think I wrote about him a few times before, but he was just that: too young. Immature, not sure what to do with his life, and loved to bed girls just to say he did. He was entertaining and young guys love to show off in bed, so win/win for me, but in the end, I knew it wouldn’t be anything major too. Especially when we went to a bar with some friends and I announced I wanted a beer and he just stood there. Broke college student was never the move.

The interesting thing is I look over this list and realize a few things. Some of which I’d already discovered and some a bit brand new:

1. 1. I have slight commitment issues

2. 2. I have a tendency to go after disastrous situations. Guys that are so much of a challenge, I know what the outcome will be, which leads me to…

3. 3. As much as I love the L word, I’m super afraid of heartbreak and realize I haven’t taken anyone seriously since my heart was shattered two years ago. It’s funny because I’m definitely over my last exclusive relationship, but the residual damage left behind is that I am in need of someone good to cancel the old out and allow me a real shot with someone worth it.**

That bitch stole my line,


Blackie Collins

**I think I might be embarking on just that, but I don’t wanna say yet. I feel like Beyonce on Jay in the good ole days. Trying to keep this special thing to myself. I will say this, though, it's the first time I’ve felt like this in…maybe ever.**