Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Tales from the Hood: The Sequel That Shouldn't Have Been

**Author's note** Everyone keeps asking where I've been...well, I'm right here, just been super busy. It seems my professional writing has taken over these days and most of my creative juices are being splayed on AOL Black Voices, Hello Beautiful, News One, Urban Daily and the like. I can't complain though, it's pretty awesome and there are some major things in the works for B, which excites me to no end. It's exactly what I wanted to happen, so YIPPY! But I will do my best to continue bringing B into your lives with my crazy blog, but forgive me if a few days pass without a blog going up. It's usually because there's stuff on other sites. So get it in with me there when we aren't here! xoxo***

So, Trey is gone. Out the picture. But he's still in the same museum, lurking, observing, dropping in from time to time to jack my life up and throw my little universe off it's axis. He calls and leaves messages saying he loves me and misses me. He sends me random pictures of him in the club with the title: I want you back. And on the nights when he's out drunk, he calls me, and calls me, and calls me, and calls me repeatedly, over and over until he either gets the point or passes out I assume.

I don't really know what to do. I'm seeing someone new. He's a great guy. He's sweet and fun and fucking normal. He isn't out of his mind. He doesn't have a record, he isn't ridiculously intense to a point that he drives me up and down and all over crazy. And yet, I can't full get into him because I can't get over Trey. I've told Trey to stop calling. I've told him to leave me alone, to let me get over him, to keep it moving, but he doesn't. Or he does for a week, right to the point that I feel life find it's rhythm without him in it and as only men magically do, he calls "out of nowhere." How do they know when the power is starting to shift away from them, that their grasp is loosening on our hearts. They somehow have a sixth sense for that shit and they call or come back immediately, tightening their grip, ruining the semblance of regularity.

I hate him and yet I'm still so hopelessly missing him. It's sort of stupid. It pisses me off that he won't just go away or that I can't answer his calls, talk to him like a normal human being. You're wondering why I don't just answer? Well, the last time I did, he went on and on about how much he loved me, asked me to come back to him, quit my life and be in his basically. He was quiet and sincere, choked up and growly in his voice. It was the worst conversation. He kept asking me why I wouldn't tell him I loved him too. I kept telling him I just wanted to make sure he got home safely, that I'd stay on the phone with him til his drunk ass got home. It's draining. It's like the drain in a bathtub and all my energy just gets sucked right down and out. This is why I can't answer. Why I have to do the ignore thing that I hate so much. I hate when men do it to women. I find it rude and even more, cowardly. And yet, I'm doing it to Trey. But in my defense it's because he's just too much to do deal with. And I want to give the new guy a solid chance. I want to date a normal guy, leave my thug love tendencies behind me. There's a line in this song and it goes: "Passion is fine, but passion burns fast. Passion's design seems never to last. Better a match, better a blend. Who needs a lover, I need a friend." This many sound depressing, but it's true. Right now, I need easy, honest, relaxing, a guy who's just as much a friend as he is the guy I'm romantically involved with. I need balance and for goodness sakes, NORMAL. Trey is the exact opposite, so I have to keep him at bay, keep it moving on my end and hope he gets the memo and goes off to ruin someone else's love life.

That bitch stole my line,

Blackie Collins


  1. Where are you? Hope all is well.

  2. Hey
    I feel bad, its definitely been a minute since i read the blog. Ive been caught up on so many projects and my blog redesign has taken forever and a day.
    But i definitely feel you on the dealing with someone that is super extra and you dont know what to do. Honestly, you are doing the right thing. I dont think ignoring works for me, but i will ignore texts every once in a while.

    Ive been dealing with someone that I told its not going to work out cause we are two totally different type of people. Basically the world ends if i dont return one text or call everyday. She thinks that she doesnt exist in my mind if im busy at a fundraiser or working late. She's way too much... AND she argues every chance she gets to speak to me.

    Her excuse: PMDD.. Bullshit!
    So, i understand. Do you boo!


  3. I've learned, the best way to get over one person is to get into someone else. It's not the best strategy, but it works. Getting over Trey will take some time, and no, the new guy will never be Trey, but he can be what you need for the time being while you're healing. @Chuckcity, why waste your time? Clearly she is on some garbage AND you told her it isn't gonna work out so why are you still there? It's time to walk away from that completely and save yourself the headache and save her from any extra heartache. She doesn't respect your time or your interests. Give someone new a try...a breath of fresh air :)


  4. hey kids. i'm here. new blogs will be debuting this week...redesigned and moved across the country! Big things for Blackie!

  5. Maybe Chuckcity is just an asshole that doesn't know how to treat women. Maybe he's still there because he cares about her and knows he could of and should of been a better man to her.


  6. Ouch VSM! Are you the girl Chuckcity was referring to? Geez...