She Who Laughs Last

I know this is childish and bad, but I find some sort of solice in knowing that I actually got the last laugh with a guy who assumed he did. Whether it be cheating on a dirt bag or slaughtering his name to my friends so everyone laughs at him behind his back (or to his face as we're known to do, too), I just walk a little lighter knowing that a jerk got his due-especially when it's signed sealed and delivered from me.

Perhaps, the lightest example has to do with the guy I lost my virginity to. I've told the story of my first, but the short end is that it wasn't good-on either end. And once he told the football team, it was only a matter of time before the usual high school rumor mill worked it's magic. It was like whisper down the lane at 120mph. It was like everyone I didn't want to know knew. There was a giant glass hallway in my high school and on the way through one day, my group of friends passed the guy and some of the boys from the football team. The under the breath comments began and I couldn't help my spitfire mouth. I shouted, "I may not know much, but I know when someone is tiiiinnnnyyyy." The laughter ensued and Rick, attempting some feeble comeback, was clapped on the back by his friend and told to just keep it moving, he couldn't win this battle. I remember feeling so triumphant-what an asshole!

Fast forward to real life and I still can't help enjoying the last laugh, even if he doesn't realize I got it. Now don't think of me as a bitter bitch, there are plenty of good guys who walked away unscathed. You'll never hear me say anything negative about my ex of a billion years. Out of respect I won't do that. But if you disrespected me, I think we can already assume that line no longer exists and while I'm not an all the way turnt up mean girl, you definitely aren't getting away scott free. Where they do that at? I would go into detail, but its highly possible that one of them will read this and while I am many things, stupid is not one of them. I'm not ratting myself out, but just know that I'm definitely enjoying my little chuckle over here.

Definitely.

That bitch stole my line,

xoxo

Blackie Collins