DICK SLANG (SNEAK PEEK)

Youtube videos are the best way to record and post anything from how to zest a lemon to the most popular stripper rollin around on her bed in a thong. When something goes viral, the sky is the limit essentially. The other day my aunt told me she wanted to make a video for youtube about how the electric company is ripping off it's patrons. She asked me if I thought it'd pick up steam, become some sort of a movement, and take down the electric company. I didn't even know what to say to that. I sort of shrugged and said, "I guess you could give it a shot."

But all bets are off in some of these videos. No longer interested in how to apply eyeliner perfectly? Oh, well why don't you learn how to do the newest dance craze. The youngin's call it: dick slanging. Yes, this little nugget hit the airwaves, was passed along to me, and for one of the few times in life, I was speechless. Here's the clip:

Now, I know the whole turn-something-insane-like-picking-up-a-paperclip-into-a-4:52-dance was all the rage, but it's getting outta hand. The dick slang not only set black people back about four thousand million trillion years, but simultaneously made everyone worry about the fate of youth. I mean, honestly, what the hell are they doing? Are these guys as serious as I think they might be? Doesn't that hurt? Aren't they worried about sterility? Surely that can't be good for your johnson. Not to mention that one or more of those guys is gay, which isn't a problem, but methinks they're doing this to be hot and get girls. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but being that I'm somewhat of an expert on girls, I'm going to go ahead and guess that this isn't going to get them any kind of fame. Or laid.

I understand that everyone wants their little fifteen minutes of fame. Hell, people have made entire careers off of youtube videos. Tell 'em Soulja Boy. It's like everyone thinks their video is going to be the next big thing. Something tells me dick slanging isn't going to measure up. Although dude on the left...

Enjoy your Friday. I guess go sling your dick somewhere or something. Maybe try it in the club. Let me know how that goes.

That bitch stole my line,

xoxo

Blackie Collins