Dumped by Facebook

I recently met a guy at an event in the city. He was a finance guy, which usually means boring or super arrogant, but despite that, I gave him my number. He was on the fair side with curly hair and was 6'2. I'm not really into light skin guys-just a preference-but he was cute and I figured worst case, I'd wind up with tall, curly haired babies and a rich lifestyle courtesy of his bank account.

Right before we parted ways, he asked if I was on Facebook. That was the first thing that bothered me. I hate when people ask for your Facebook information upon meeting you, especially men. That does not a connection make and I don't know you like that. Let's start with a phone call and see what happens. It's just annoying. Leave that to high schoolers. So, I told him that I was on FB, but that I never check it, so it was pointless to give out. HOWEVER, that didn't mean I couldn't check him out on there. I searched his name and found that his profile picture was of two small children, a toddler and a baby, that resembled him A LOT. Donezo.

I understand that you are free to do what you want with your FB page, but remember that people will see it and judge you based on it. It's your first impression before you even get to make one in real life.

When I went over my list of ways to get dumped because of your FB page with a good guy friend of mine, he cracked up, but said he was happy to know what kind of pics he shouldn't make his profile, so I thought I'd share:

The Topless Self Portrait
Omg to these guys. There's always a few who think it's sexy rexy to post a pic of them standing in the bathroom mirror, flexing their pecs, most likely with a wave cap on or something. What bothers me most about these snapshots is that you can always see them looking into the camera, trying to center themselves while flex at the same time. Do something with your time. Dumb.

The Sunglasses Indoors Pose
I hate when men wear sunglasses inside, hell anyone, but there seems to be a lot of profiles with some dude in a suit, posed at some inside venue with some sort of "I'm swaggerific" smirk on his face. Hate to be the bearer of obvious news, but you aren't.

The Club Dude
It isn't as bad as the previous offenses but guys who have a club promo as their profile pic make me nervous because they could potentially turn into one of those annoying FBers who constantly send me club promotional invites. I hate them.

The Thirsty Dude
This is the guy who's page looks like a Match.com profile instead of lame-o facebook. His status says single, he's looking for women, dating, relationship, believes in God and is a conservative Democrat. His profile picture is probably him crouched on the beach with a polo on and thong flip flops.

The Ladies Man
If the last 20 people you became friends with or commented on your page are women, you're suspect. Couple that with your picture being you in Cabo at spring break with 5 hunnies on either side of you, doesn't make you a G, it makes you a D as in a douche bag.

Careful what you post!

That bitch stole my line

Xoxo

Blackie Collins