Top 85 Dead or Alive-but not black

Chad "Ocho Cinco" Johnson has been making the rounds to do press for his new show The Ultimate Catch on VH1. VH1 has recently decided to take a page from the MTV book of failing to have less music and more loser reality television shows like his and Celebrity Rehab. At any rate, Chad has found his place on the network and before the show even aired, women started complaining about the fact that there were no Black women on the show. Rumors started flying that Ochocinco cut all the black chicks immediately (he started with 85) and was forced to add two black girls once he'd picked fifteen finalist-the show wound up with seventeen vying for his, um, heart. In response to all the conflicting arguments and insults, Chad said, “Yeah, but I can’t appease you. I have a preference.” And honestly, he's allowed to. The question is: do we really have to care anymore? I mean, I prefer black men and if I did a reality show, I'm pretty sure it'd consist of at least 75 % men of color. But please be advised, there would be quite a few cutie white boys in there for sure. I like boys. Period point blank. At some point, we just have to stop caring what comes out of people's mouths. If anything, it's giving Ochocinco a point of platform for publicity. So if you aren't into him, stop giving him fodder. Besides, do you really care what someone named Ochocinco thinks?

I think what pisses people off more is that he doesn't prefer black women now, but he sure as hell preferred them when he made six zillion children with three different ones. Perhaps they were "crazy" so he's over that kind of woman. Before you go insane about my use of the word crazy, there's a reason I put it in quotes. I don't think people get to crazy on their own, all by their lonesome. They get there with the help of someone else driving them there, hence driving them crazy. Lord knows what an Ochocinco can do to a person to drive them batty.

But at the end of the day, I really don't care much. The show probably won't even get watched unless it's re-running in the background while I'm cleaning or giving myself open heart surgery. People, on a whole, care about things that really don't concern them, but since it's in the celebrity spotlight, they feel the need to have an opinion-I'm guilty of it at times as well. I am actually more worried about Chad's clear identity crisis. He actually said on his show (I gave myself that open heart surgery over the weekend) that he was "half Mexican" in response to one of his suitors saying she was Puerto Rican. First, Chad, you are about as Mexican as an English Bulldog. Second, remember that scene in Clueless where Cher mistakes her maid for Mexicano when she's from El Salvador and the maid screams: I NOT a Mexican? Well, while Puerto Rico and Mexico share some water, but that's about it, bruh. I wouldn't have much issue if he were a proud card carrying black man who happened to like white girls, but instead he's just lost trying to find his way in the vast Hollywood scene. I don't know if any of you are hip to the game out there, but the ultimate catch is in fact a model-esque, weave wearing, liquid legging clad exotic chick. And when I say exotic, I mean Mexican Puerto Rican, not Black.

Besides, reality dating shows are less about finding fifteen years of marriage and more about finding fifteen minutes of fame. It worked out for Ray-J, which is clearly the barometer for everything in life.

That bitch stole my line,

xoxo

Blackie Collins