Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I Am Not My Hair (But you are that scarf)

I recently took in Good Hair, Chris Rock's new documentary on the good, the bad, and the unbeweaveable of hair in the African American community.  On a side note, the movie was great. I'm starting to think Rock has found his genre as that was the best thing I've seen him in since CB-4.  But that's not the issue.  Of course, B took issue with the section dealing with sex.  Pretty much every man in the movie stated that touching a black woman's hair during sex is the equivilant of sticking things in the exit door-unallowed, unless you want it ripped off.  I've never had a weave and I also had no idea you couldn't give it a good yank. Ok, well maybe I did as that's the first thing flying, aside from punches, in a chick fight, but I didn't realize how far it went.  No hair pulling or touching AT ALL?  That's insane and about as silly as betting on a two legged dog in a race.

One of my favorite things a man does is play in my hair.  I love it, like a bitch in heat.  It feels amazing in the bed or out.  Being that it's one of the most sensual feelings, I can only imagine what it's like with railroad tracks all through it. I don't have to think too hard.  It's gross. 

During a particular barber shop scene, one guy joked about women having to wrap it up or get a scarf before doing the do.  Again, huh? Who wants to have sex with a chick in a scarf except maybe another chick in a scarf.  I know certain things go unattended to when you're comfortable with your man, and I understand that many women sleep with scarves on their heads, but during sex, that's a no-no.  No one's asking you to wear $500 lingerie every time, but damn, can you at least take that scarf off?  If you're rocking a weave, it's already hands off, so can he at least look at it? Feel like he's with a beautiful woman and not some dude or Britney Spears?  

Black men have gotten so used to the rules of black hair they've simply accepted this crazy behavior. It's time for you guys to stand up too!  Let your woman know that you ain't putting anything down until she takes her hair down.  If you're doing your job right, she'll comply rather than go without.   

Perhaps I'm being harsh and judgmental of the weave-wearing, scarf-donning women of the world.  

No, I'm not. It's just ridiculous. Take that scarf off.  Get a better sew in. Let your soul glo and all that, because just like good hair, good sex is hard to find. 

Pat your weave ladies! 

That bitch stole my line,


Blackie Collins


  1. I just saw the movie Sunday night and it was needless to say interesting. I've never donned a weave and was shocked at how much money ladies drop for it. I mean weaves for up to $3,500...WOW! I have a better understanding now of why woman are protective of the hair.

    Although I've never really had to worry about hair flying off my head, the idea of a woman worrying about their hair while in the middle of having sex is kind of sad.

    For what it is (sex or hair), I say:
    Own it, Live it, and Love it!!!

    Just sew the shit back in if you have to.

  2. LOL, my current boyfriend is a white guy, who from the moment we started having sex had his hands all up in my hair. I don't have a weave, so I didn't care if he did or didn't. It felt amazing though and very sensual. Because this is his first and my first interracial relationship, we spoke honestly about the hair stuff (especially since I'm going natural). Never before did I even notice that with the black guys I dated they never touched my hair. It just never came up, because that's just how it was. LOL, even if my boyfriend and I don't make it, I doubt I'll ever not let a significant other pull the hair while having sex.

  3. Don't you get a weave so you don't have to wear a scarf?

    the thing is, most black women who don't rock a weave definitely need to rock the scarf. At night it's dangerous, and if its not wrapped up tight, the morning is going to be a whole nother story. Men have to recognize this. Either you want me sexy at night, (with no scarf) or during the day (wearing a scarf at night). you gotta choose.

  4. Scarves aren't just for weave wearers. I'm natural and wear a scarf.
    Do I normally wear one when I'm doing the do? No!
    If my fella taps me on the shoulder in the middle of the night and my scarf is already on, it may just stay on.
    Believe me, if a woman's putting it down, that little bit of fabric should be the last thing on her man's mind :)

  5. I have a weave in right now, I don't care if a man touched it. Granted It didn't cost me over 85 bucks to have it, but at the same time. IF he knows you have the weave as long as he isn't trying to rip it out while having sex, I don't care.

    Women who would put a scarf on have clearly took up with the idea of wearing a scarf must look at sex with their man as " a job" You don't come to bed ready to get down, in some old shorts, and a ripped tee unless thats his thing. But, you have to keep that spark in there. Scarves aren't sexy at all.

  6. Jovian, I don't think it's a now or later scenario. Like let me wear it now, so tomorrow I look good, or vice versa. Sure, women wrap their hair, but you can just as easily wrap it up after.

  7. My man pays for my hair, so I figure if he pulls anything from anywhere, it's on him. it's a joint venture and he's invested in it, too. He better be easy if he feels things shifting.

  8. Having been on both sides of the unbeweavable fence, I know of what I speak. Take heed chicas.
    Freshman year I left my dorm one night w/locks down to the middle of my back. They bounced. They shone.
    I went to my then-beau's room in Graves Hall throwing hair over my shoulder and doing lots of "the longhair White Girl flip."
    When I returned to Abby Hall that night, I looked like a picaninny & had all the hair tucked haphazardly in my purse.
    I don't remember much abt that hair, but I do remember that nookie. I.remember.it.VERY.well.
    What did Lil'Kim say? "If it's a weave, fuck around and pull a track in it!"
    Let him get in your hair girls. Otherwise you're basically saying your scalp's worth more than your kitty.
    I'm just sayin....

  9. Natural, relaxed, weaved, or not, I have never enforced the popular "hands off" rule when it comes to hair. I like it patted, stroked, pulled, etc. and will be damned if I let a little thing called cuteness get in the way of my fun.

    I must admit that having to braid up my now natural do into a Celie style before bed is probably 100x less sexy than any silk scarf. Sorry fellas. You can still touch it though!!