Girls dream of losing their virginity to a handsome beau (boyfriend or husband)who loves and respects them. He takes gentle care in the endeavor and cuddles them after the deed is done. Some girls get that.
My first time sucked.
I was a senior in high school and infatuated w/ boys (of course). One, in particular, was my favorite. His name was Rick and he was a junior transfer from the city. I lived in the racially segregated suburbs so the sports teams bussed in (ahem) kids of color from nearby cities so their football and basketball teams wouldn't suck. Instead they'd have a shot at state championships. Rick moved to his "aunt's" house in my school district and showed up at my locker one day asking if I knew where algebra was. I told him I was a senior, but juniors had math in the hall with the MATH mural painted along the wall. He laughed, realizing his jig was up and from then on, Rick and I were fast friends. While we're on topic, it should be known that HS B wasn't fast at all. I was definitely into the opposite sex, but I was also into not being labeled a slut as many female high schoolers are prone to after spending one to many minutes over seven in heaven. So as our friendship matured, Rick and I began sharing lockers (his was on the west side while mine lived in the east wing), hanging out during lunch, and I cheered him on with some sort of ridiculous fervor at football games. I was a cheerleader, he was the star runningback. It all made sense.
Like many platonic relationships, we eventually started making out after school and holding hands in the hallway. People started thinking of us as together, but the discussion never really happened. Did it ever in those days? One weekend, a friend's parents were out of town. The type of party thrown was the classic high school drunken brothel. At some point, Rick and I wound up in said friend's parents' room. (Gross now. Seemed like a good idea then. Hey, it wasn't my parents bedroom.) Our usual making out ensued and eventually Rick wanted more than the average bear. I don't know why I was suddenly okay with the idea-Rick wasn't exactly my boyfriend and I'd been relatively schooled on sex by my sisters and parents-but I decided, what the hey! Many of my friends had traveled the sex highway and I figured I'd just go ahead, pay the toll, and hit cruise control.
I knew there was a problem immediately following when he announced regrettably that he hated being drunk. He followed that by grabbing his pants and exiting stage left. Seriously, he was gone before I could even review what had gone down. Well, um, okay. The following Monday, I got the coldest shoulder ever. I didn't get it. In my seventeen year old mind, I'd assumed sex meant love or at the very least relationship. I was very uneducated on the ways of 16 year old boys. Apparently sex meant ignore the girl, tell the football team and yell about the fellatio received in the cafeteria. Good to know. My good girl reputation was down the tubes for some dude that could barely fill out his football uniform and subsequently couldn't pass 11th grade algebra. I also received a phone call from Rick's girlfriend, who lived in the city. The conversation was filled with lots of four letter words on her part. I played the dumbfounded suburban girl role to a T. To top it off, my mother happened to hear about the all inclusive party when she picked up my phone line by accident. I lived in the kind of place where everyone's parents were friends, so phone calls went out, groundings were rampant. It was an absolute disaster and I had to hear from my mom on several occasions that I should be careful or I'd be a slut. "Did I want to be that?" Thanks for the support mom, don't you see my heart is broken? Well, not really. I got over it relatively easy. Still made homecoming court (which is all that matters in high school). Cheerleading squad won Nationals. Got into a top college. Even better, started dating the star runningback from our rival football team.
Rick dropped out when he got some girl pregnant...I love karma.
That bitch stole my line,
xoxo
Blackie Collins
Ahhhh mon cherie...I knew there was a reason I was so fond of you.
ReplyDeletePoor dear, u suffered an ordeal similar to mine. Something about enduring
that type of humiliation in your formative years that gives one an impermeable
shield that stays with you through life. You're unafraid of
what can happen to you socially because you've already faced the
worst form of humiliation. You're wiser, stronger, and better for what you
went through. I have a "Kiss & Tell" post too. You're right, Karma is a beautiful thing.