Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Sensitive Thugs Need Hugs

"I know what boys like, I know what they want-" and I don't care. Through my history with the opposite sex, I've discovered that it isn't the female who longs for affection in the most silly ways. We can absolutely leave the huggies to men. And I don't mean pampers. I mean this: men are the biggest suckers for love.

Sure women love to be hugged and kissed. Sure, we love a little interlaced hand-holding. But make no mistake, men love it more. And they go further! They want to spoon and hold you all night (um, I need to sleep at some point and it'll be far easier without your legs wrapped around me in a death grip). They want to wrap their arm around you when walking down the street (unless we walk on same footing, it's bumper car season). And perhaps the worst, they want to kiss you through the phone. Not just one dude either. I have dated several guys that have asked for a tele-kiss at the end of a conversation.

"Okay, I'm gonna head to bed."

"Okay, baby, talk tomorrow?"


"Gimme kiss."

What? Why? Then I make some sort of quick kissing sound, which makes me feel like an idiot. And if I feel like an idiot, it's like Gramps on Viagra, bro-it ain't going down.

Kissing a dude over the phone is too reminiscent of the days when I used to sneak a few extra phone hours in on a school night. The last time I did that was when my ninth grade boyfriend and I used to "sleep together" on the phone. Yeah. Incredibly corny. Just like kissing over the phone. That kind of mess is totally reserved for people with Beyonce as their ring tone: teenagers.

Now, I'm cool with a loving guy. Love it when I'm involved with a man who loves to, love to, love me. I will even compromise and cuddle your ass for a solid twenty minutes. BUT I am not doing any kind of kissing through the phone. Leave that to Trey Songz and Soulja Boy, LOL, sad face.


  1. "Like Grandpa on Viagra, it ain't going down." I literally guffawed when I read that line.
    Love the blog! Keep posting so I'll have shit to read while ignoring the rest of the world!

  2. Ha!! Girl I hate that too....I feel so stupid doing that!! And I don't like feeling stupid! ha!! Love your blog!! Keeps me laughing!!