Thursday, September 17, 2009


I'm a traditional girl.  I believe in male and female roles for the most part, but I also realize that in today's social climate, a lot of those roles have gone stale, they're played out.  However, my best friend asked me today if it was okay for a woman to propose to a man.  My immediate answer was no, absolutely not.  There are some traditions that should be kept intact.  While I have very realistic non-traditional feelings about getting married, I do believe that if it's going to go down, it needs to go down with the guy down on his knee.  Of course there are exceptions.  Maybe it's a couple that's been together for a while. You're happy, he's happy, all is well.  One day, you're talking and collectively decide to get hitched.  I'm totally okay with that.  But if he comes home one day, and you're on your knee in a circle of candles with a ring in your, no, not particularly a fan of that.

Men are known to be protectors, providers, professors (thanks, Mr. Harvey), while women hold down the nurturing, caring, and emotional aspects.  But is it okay to have a man that's more nurturing and sensitive?  Or perhaps a woman that makes more financially?  I think the answer to both is yes, but there's a fine line that cannot be crossed for if it is, the very essence of what makes a man, a man and a woman, a woman, is blurred and that's where trouble takes up residence.  Men need to feel like they wear the proverbial pants.  No argument from me there.  I won't argue that. I want him in them as well.  I want him to move me to the inside of the street or reach out and grab my hand when there are tons of men around (looking at me of course).  I want him to be my protector, but I want him to understand that I can also fend for myself.  In the same case, I know he needs me to cater to him in certain ways, while also wanting the chance to do the same for me.  It's about balance, obviously.  It's like you're on a seesaw together and while you give and take and go up and down, sometimes it's okay to just balance in the middle. 

That bitch stole my line,


Blackie Collins


  1. I say no for many reasons...

    I too am a traditional girl. Also, it seems that as a woman I am usually quicker to be ready to settle down...I fall hard...I fall if we are to get married, I want to know it's because he wants to promise me forever, not because he feels obligated in the moment because he does not want to lose me...

    I don't believe in proposal ultimatums either.

  2. i agree with keli- no proposal ultimatums. I kinda felt like that put a ring on it situation was basically saying, "do it now or lose me." not really how i want to be proposed to either...

  3. Hi Five to that, Blackie!

    Steve Harvey kinda knew what he was talking about. I'm all for the provide, protect, profess. As for the proposing part, naw I'm str8. I feel like that's the guy's role. I don't want to take that away from him. I think most guys look forward to proposing to their ladies. In fact, I heard a great proposal story yesterday. I about melted. LOL! Awww. So yea, I want that warm mushy feeling, too!

  4. You know how I love some good old fashioned gender roles, Blackie.

  5. Well I did like try to "court " a guy!! Hmm didnt work. Still working on it

  6. one of the greatest struggles of my life has been trying to straddle the wall of traditional gender roles and what my life has demanded of me. it is extraordinarily difficult to be a traditional woman, when soooo many of the men i fall for have had such piss poor examples of how they should be men. i don't fault the "dates" as much as i fault myself for poor choices. some day my prince will come....
    as always, you know this was a dope post!