Friday, June 4, 2010

Beating a Dead Horse

It is so frustrating to give people the same advice over and over again. It's like they are purposely not listening. And I give great advice, but after a few go rounds on the same topic, I start to sound like a parrot repeating the same crap coming out my own mouth. So a few weeks ago, I had this same exact epiphany with a friend of mine who has been dating the same lame loser for months. Now let me be really really clear on why he's a bag full of used douche. He has no job. He has a child. He has an insane baby's mother. He is fat. He is ugly. He is however, funny if you catch him on the first sunday of the month. Sort of like the First Fruits of tithing; he doles it all out on that one day. So to summarize, you can see how the pros do not outweigh the cons. He should have been outta there long ago, but she keeps up with his shenanigans, hoping for some sort of divine intervention.

Meanwhile, while she's waiting for the second coming, I have to sit through endless conversations...wait scratch that, because a conversation would entail some sort of dialogue. Let's call them monologues, or even better, long as hell soliloquies complete with all the hemming and hawing possible. The other day she actually said he drives her crazy because he complains and whines all the time. That shit must be contagious because that's all she seems to do now, except it's always about him. She used to be a riot, used to not drive me up the wall sideways. Then she met this guy and suddenly she got all insecure and annoying. She started asking these inane questions, asking me to help her decode his tweets or the fact that his FB status said It's Complicated. Girl. I. Don't. Care. About. Him. I love her, well I like her a lot, but I am so tired of saying the same thing over and over which is this: Can you please stop bothering with someone who doesn't even remotely add to your net worth? It's like eating Long John Silver's when there's a Red Lobster across the street (for the record, I don't endorse either of those places, but those cheese biscuits from Red Lobster must have crack in them, yum). She is cute. She has a great career. She's hilarious and has great witty comebacks in some endless arsenal. She used to be my kinda gal, until the nerd bomber came around. I barely talk to her these days because I just don't want to talk about it anymore. When I do tell her my opinion, she gets defensive and swears she doesn't like him that much. I don't have time.

But why, oh why, do women do this? I'm guilty too, don't get me wrong. I've put in work on a situation that should've been dead and buried, but what gives? Are chicks that afraid of being alone? My friend swears she just likes the distraction. Girl, get an etch-a-sketch or something. They can put you out of commission for hours.

That bitch stole my line,


Blackie Collins

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