Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I Heart Male Bloggers, Like A LOT

Blogs are a crazy epidemic, spreading like an STD in the Jersey Shore house. It seriously seems everyone has a blog and it's no secret that the most popular ones involve relationships and dating. It's a topic people can talk about until the cows come home and every single person seems to have an opinion or advice to give. I have great respect for those who write these types of blogs, and not just because I write one, but because it's a tall order. A topic that has so many odds and ends, so many chances at offending, so many shots at inspiring and helping. And also because of the sheer volume of relationship/dating blogs out there. All that said, the male relationship blogs are way more popular.

The Millionaire Matchmaker Live event was a few nights ago and while I couldn't make it, I definitely got an ear full. There were quite a few non surprises. Like the ratio of men to women was apparently 372:1, which wasn't that much of a shocker considering the ratio of men to women in NYC is about that. There were tons of "how can I get a man" questions and lots of "I can do fine all by myself, these men are trifling" declarations, also not surprising. What was (mildly bc nothing really surprises me)surprising were the number of women who were ready to jump on the panel, snatch their favorite male blogger, and do them dirty in a bathroom stall...or right in front of everyone, whichever was easiest. Then they'd secretly pray to get written up on the blog.

I would love to say I'm shocked by how many groupies these male bloggers have accumulated, but I'm not. I don't just write a blog, I read them too and it never ceases to amaze me the enormous difference in comments/followers/viewership on male written blogs than female written blogs. Women are dying,salivating, foaming at the mouth to find out what's inside these guys' minds so they can nail their own version of them as soon as humanly possible. They hide out at work, reading Naked w/ Socks and Very Smart Brothas, the same way they devoured Hill Harper's piece of crap and read Steve Harvey's column every month in Essence. They take notes, flirt through the comments section. I can only imagine what they're emailing the writers themselves.

I received an email once asking me to explain the game of football to a female reader. I've talked about my favorite sport a lot on here and she wanted my aid in reeling in guys with her football expertise. It's no secret that men consume women's thoughts. Our life goal is to land one, duh! But the football girl is an example of what a woman is willing to do to change herself into what she thinks a man wants. So, when there are guys out there just being honest and blogging their thoughts on the topic, it's like Christmas for women. They are like moths to flames, R. Kelly to children, Heidi Montag to fame.

So, they hang on every word, taking it all in. It's like these bloggers are mini rock stars. The keypad is their guitar, the written words are their songs and their readers are out their shouting, "Pour some sugar on meeeee!" in white t-shirts soaked with their love and adoration. It's kinda funny. So when I hear that they were throwing their panties at some of these guys on the panel, I think it's hilarious. And I knew it was only a matter of time before a live event came around where they could jump from the other side of the screen and literally reach out and touch the man who's words they've tethered themselves to for months, years.

Look at the number of people who thought Sistatoldja was a raging feminist, put on earth to stir up trouble and argue with the black masses? But if she were Panama Jackson, going in on a similar rant, laced with wit and comedy, she'd have 672 comments and girls throwing their draws at her too! Instead, everyone was sort of shocked by how nice and girly and pretty she was, not to mention her eye make up. Yup heard about that too (great spies).

I'm not being a hater, I promise. I love blogs, I read them more than I should but, it's really really easy to play the part behind a computer screen, people. I'm not saying the words we all write aren't real or genuine, I'm just saying that it's a blog, not the second coming of Denzel-who I am totally not into, but most women throw their lives away for him-ask Sanaa. Just because you read Single Black Male, doesn't bring you any closer to actually meeting and dating the writer, or maybe it will if you're really persistent. Nor does it suddenly bring you the meaning of men and voila, you've got one! Look, I love boys just as much as the next, probably more. As I often joke, I kissed my first boy when I was nine, downhill since then, but I don't feel like we have a grip on things sometimes. I write my blog and love the compliments, but I care way more about the ones that involve my writing! I'm a writer! It's like me handing you a piece to read and after reading it, you say, "Wow, that's a pretty font." Huh? So, when women sit there, taking in these guys' words, their stories and think, "I want a man like that," or "I am the woman he's been looking for" I feel like they sort of miss a large part of the point. I don't know, but I do know that they're regular dudes, writing great content and living their lives in between. So calm down. No need for thirst, there's no drought. Take their words and enjoy them. Use them as a little fodder during the work day, but that's it! Just because a dude is writing it, doesn't make it the Bible. Although I'm sure if you asked them, they might say it is.

That bitch stole my line,


Blackie Collins


  1. this is HILARIOUS!! i was just talking about this with a couple twitter-peeps.. i have a blog-crush but it IS because of his writing.. seeing as how i don't know him.. not only that, but i don't wanna meet him.. ever.. you gotta keep the fantasy fresh..
    i loved your analogies.. because it painted the picture perfectly.. it's like everyone wants to believe that out of the hundreds (maybe thousands) that reads such-and-such blog.. that their words are gonna be the ones that strike his heartstrings just "that way".. and we all live happily ever after..
    it's the life of the eternal romantic..
    i found you from your comment on VSB.. see, those links work.. lol!
    oh.. and if you like 500 days of summer.. try "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind." wonderfully written, and wonderfully acted..
    you got some movies over there i could talk about all day.. but that's not what we're doing here!

  2. Yea this is really very true presently in states every single person is having its own blog.. i appriciate the persons who do blogging share there thoughts with others and guide many new and thoughtful concepts of life..

  3. @nick@nite loved eternal sunshine. i could talk movies all day long. don't get me started.

  4. Hold on ... wait a second ... us male bloggers have groupies? There are women that are attracted to us on the premise that we just write whatever randomness comes to us in the middle of the night?

    Really though, I know what you mean and I think it's crazy at times. We really are just regular guys with moderate writing skills. While I am looking to grow and reach as many people as possible, it has shocked me from time to time the level at which some women regard us(me, my writers, and other black male relationship bloggers).

  5. @SBM yes, you have groupies. I heard there were some very lustful groans when you opened your mouth to talk @ the MDML event;)

    And moderate skills? Oh pls.