Not enough women love the skin they're in. Too many of us hate our hips or our noses or our hair. I can't make you love your own body, but I can ask you why you're so against it to the point where it's messing up your sex life.
I remember having a conversation with male friend. He kept going on about women who have low sex self-esteem. My ears perked up. What was this and how could it be spotted? He explained that it was the kind of issue a girl who keeps her shirt on during sex has. The chick who can't do it without being in the dark. The woman so un-into her own body, that she doesn't want anyone to see its imperfections. Listen here, that's just foolish! I was like that when I was seventeen and had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. I was shy and nervous, but fast forward a couple romps and I was screaming from the rafters and ripping my clothes off with fervor. I wish I could say I get it, and maybe I do a little bit. There've been times where I've thought for a split second, "I bet this position isn't so flattering," but not once has it ever stopped me. What a blower to an activity that's sooo great!
See, I think it comes back to this place where women have been taught that if they don't look like Beyonce or some supermodel, they aren't worthy. Case and point: Halle Berry. Gorgeous, amazing body, flawless skin, not to mention ageless. But Halle has stated repeatedly that she's got some of the worst self-esteem ever! She's let men beat up on her and was married to a sex addict who cheated on her. How do you cheat on Halle Berry?!! But that's the point, even when you're subsequently perfect, there are still all these flaws. We all have them and no one has been spared, so why bother picking yourself apart, ruining your own body-image. Look, there are plenty of people, places, and things that are ready, willing, and able to tear you down. I suggest you check out of that mode of thinking asap. Instead, make a list of your physical assets. Stand in front of the mirror if you need to. I know, that sounds crazy, but if you don't love your body, he won't either. I'm lucky enough to wake up to someone who tells me I'm beautiful on a regular basis. Let's me know I have the most amazing body, which I surely do not. But I'm good enough for me and I faked it until I made it. Now, I just believe it and if he weren't there to tell me I look great in the bright lights with no make up on, I'd still be the best I ever had. And the best he ever had too. ;)
Blackie Collins is a Manhattan turned LA girl with a big heart and a closet full of girly things like skirts and heels. She loves laying on the beach, dogs with people names like Linda, hoop earrings, and sky-high platform heels. When she isn't writing, she can be found scouring blogs, brunching with friends, or enjoying happy hour at any hour of the day. Her true passion is boys. It is perhaps the reason she can't get anything done. She lives in a great, rent controlled apartment with a great, uncontrolled dog. She has quite a few parking tickets, and dreams of the day DVF or YSL decide to slum it with a line in Target. Get it in with her at http://thatbitchstolemyline.com, email her at firstname.lastname@example.org, or follow her on Twitter @blackiecollins.