Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Some Girls...

I was at work, talking with a new colleague. Seemed okay at first. Nice girl, easy on the eyes, same age bracket, maybe we'll be friends. Maybe not. Apparently, she is one of those people who tells all their business to the first person who will listen. I usually don't when it doesn't interest me, but do a good job of pretending I'm listening. However, she was talking about her ex-boyfriend-who-she's-still-in-love-with. She had no idea who she was talking to! As she went on and on and on about her ex-boyfriend-who-she's-still-in-love-with, my irritation level went on a slow-cooker type of process. Slowly, but surely, through and through, I was ready to pop my lid. Just as I thought of a nice way (I try to take it easy on people who don't know B), she said something that made me wanna slap her.

"I was his girlfriend first, I'm the one he loved first."

I looked up from what I was doing, removed the glazed look, and stopped her.

"What did you say?" I asked. She repeated herself, which reiterated that she felt just fine about her statement. Turns out her eex-boyfriend-who-she's-still-in-love-with is living with another woman now. Has "moved on." But he still talks with my new colleague on a regular basis, texts her all hours of the night, tells her he's still in love with her too, walks hand in hand with her through the city, kisses her in public. When I asked why she would do this to the new girlfriend, her response was "I was his girlfriend first. I'm the one he loved first." My response was without warrant. It tumbled out.

"Are you in the third grade? You were in line first, so you throw your arms up and call out that you are the line leader, you were there first? Grow up! What you are doing is not only detrimental to the new girlfriend, whom many women could care less about, but more importantly to you. Why haven't you moved on? Why are you believing any of the BS coming out of the ex-boyfriend-who-you're-still-in-love-with's mouth?" She looked at me blankly, so I continued.

"Do you honestly think you're meant for him?" She nodded.

"Do you believe he wants to be with you?" She nodded her bobble head again.

"Then, why isn't he living with you? Why aren't you his girlfriend?"

"Because he can't right now," she said with as much gusto as she could call upon.
"More like doesn't want to," I said and went back to my task. She tried to talk to me more throughout the day, tried to defend her ex-boyfriend-who-she's-still-in-love-with, but I didn't care. Some girls are simply idiots. I never give advice or speak out of anything but experience, so I've been there. I've been in a ridiculous situation (a story too long to share) with an ex-boyfriend-who-I-was-still-in-love-with. I have made the feeble attempts to defend him. I have believed whole-heartedly that he simply couldn't do whatever I needed or wanted. But the truth is that he was perfectly capable. He just didn't want to enough.

Some girls that take less than they're worth. Some girls hang on to a thread, when they could have the whole spool by themselves or with someone better. I have no idea why, though. My only defense for them, and myself, is that they're so blinded by a love that doesn't exist. So hidden behind a veil that they don't see reality for what it is.

Some girls just don't see it and until they do, I can't give them 20/20 vision. I can only hope that one day those girls will see that the ex-boyfriend-who-they're-still-in-love-with is really just the-dude-from-the-past-who-taught-them-what-they-were-worth: more.

That bitch stole my line,

Blackie Collins


  1. Just went through a similar situation myself and you hit the nail on the head. Unfortunately most of us have gone through this and we all had to learn the lesson on our own. @imizamb

  2. I think I need to come up to the front pew and join the church because that was one hell of a sermon you just gave there! I have been that stupid girl, but like you said I learned I was worth more and moved on. I learned my lesson, cried my tears, dried my eyes and kept on going. Life doesn't go backwards, so why should I.

  3. At first, I was feeling sorry for old girl when you bust that tirade on her, but then I realized that the severity of her ignorance was so advanced that she probably couldn't feel the pain from the insults anyway. {Sigh} Bless her heart. Oh well, a hard head makes for a soft behind sometimes, but kudos to you for trying to spare the sistah some pain and set her straight.

    Great post!