Monday, November 30, 2009

Throw It In The Bag (Get Rid of It)

We all know there's a shelf life on how long you can linger upon an ex. There's a certain amount of time where you're allowed to grieve, eat ice cream, stare at old pictures, cry, and whatever else dealing with a breakup entails. But then you must move on. You must pack up all the items around the house that remind you of them. You must put them in a box with all the gifts they gave you...well wait. Maybe not. What if he bought you a pair of gorgeous diamond earrings for Christmas one year? What if she bought you a beautiful Rolex (nice girlfriend) for last year's birthday? Those are pretty nice items and they can easily become apart of your daily wardrobe without carrying the stigma of your now ex. My question is, while we must move on and move out, are we allowed to keep certain gifts? My first thought is yes, if they hold no sentimental value now. So, yes, you can keep the Gucci loafers because they are a basic black and match most of your suits. No, you cannot keep the stuffed teddy bear he won for you at the fair because it's softer than any pillow you've ever owned.

My ex-boyfriend's motto was, "ask and ye shall receive." And whenever I asked for something, I usually received it. For Christmas, I asked for diamond earrings. I own a pair of 2 carat nuggets. For one birthday, I asked for the new video IPOD. I still play music on it. One Valentine's Day, I wanted to go on vacation. We did a long weekend getaway. However, one year, when we weren't together, he bought me an amazing Christmas gift. I think the gift was to get me back, but he swore it wasn't. Said he'd bought it long before we broke up and still wanted to give the gift to me. I unwrapped the small box and gasped at a platinum band with diamonds inset around it. He said it was a promise ring, but not the silly high school kind. It was a promise to get himself together and be exactly what I needed him to be. Later, when we got back together (his shit was together more or less), we said we'd make it apart of our wedding bands somehow. It has major sentimental value and is in a jewelry box now, never to be worn again. But what about the earrings? Sure, for a nanosecond when I put them on, I remember where they came from, but it's so quick, it barely registers. And I don't even remember the moment when he gave me the IPOD while I'm dancing around to my favorite tunes. But what if my boyfriend was wearing a pair of cuff links his ex gave him? What if he asked where I got my diamond earrings? Isn't it a bit of a slippery slope?

That bitch stole my line,


Blackie Collins

1 comment:

  1. coming out of a situation in which i was forced to get rid of ANYTHING pertaining to an ex, i almost wish I'd gotten rid of the enforcer instead. when asked why he kept pictures of his ex on his fbook page, a friend of mine recently said "i don't want to erase what she and i we or had. i don't hate her. she's not a bad person. we were together for a substantial amount of time. we just weren't right together."
    while i get that from a philosophical standpoint, i don't know how it would make me feel if i was the new chick....
    gifts are the same way. though omission on any level can be considered betrayal, i don't think you need to tell you less earning new boo abt the baubles bought for you by your far wealthier boo.
    quality of gift over degree of disclosure....