Thursday, November 19, 2009

Short & Sweet: Hitting a Double

Remember when you were impressed by the fact that your friend "jerked" Matt off or got fingered by Freddy? You wouldn't budge pass second base, beyond feeling each other up, grinding around the ball field, never hitting home plate, yet "scoring nonetheless." Then somewhere around your teenage and young adult years, you discovered getting and giving head.  Second base was getting smaller and smaller in your rearview mirror. Then came sex and who even remembered any base but sliding into home plate.

Do B a favor. Hit a nice single or double.  Trust me, boys, fingering your girl will produce amazing results, if done right, especially during the instances where you're a little too tired or not nearly as able to run repetitive circles around the ballpark.  And for the girls, recall what it was like to jack him off and go for it.  It's simple, easy, and because it's
so not the norm, surprisingly incredible.  I guarantee if whether you stay in the mid field or start there on your way home, you won't strike out.  Instead you'll hit a grand slam.  Cause it's one, two, three strokes your in at the old ball game!

That bitch stole my line,

Blackie Collins

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