Monday, July 19, 2010

Friends Forever, Friends Throughout the Years

Author's Note: I'm having serious writer's block. Bear with me as I try and pull something out of my ass...

Years ago, I slept with a friend whom I'd known for years. We'd met at the age of fifteen, and proceeded to be friends for life. We're still friends today. Somewhere along the line in college, we hooked up. It was one of those random-can-I-do-laundy-at-your-house-cause-the-campus-laundry-room-sucks and after a bottle of Arbor Mist (hey, it was college), we took horizontal mambo lessons from each other. It really wasn't a big deal, but the time immediately following was the only time we didn't speak. I wouldn't say the sex complicated our friendship, but he pissed me off mere days after and I didn't feel like talking to him anymore. I did let him know I wasn't checking for him though, I didn't just stop calling, for the record. Anyway, fast forward a year and he and I started talking again. There's alway an underlying sexual tension, but I always chalk it up to the fact that we slept together in college, not anything current or presently pressing. Here and there a comment is made, a reminder, but for the most part, I haven't really thought about it. After all, there really isn't any point.

A week or so ago, I saw him at a party and in the middle of our conversation, he said: We've been lovin each other a long time haven't we? To which, I assumed he meant we'd been friends forever, which I think he sort of did, sort of didn't. I responded with a simple: Yep, we've known each other for decades. But then he replied: I love how you just toss off our history like it's nothing. I didn't say anything for a minute because I didn't get what he meant. How was I tossing it off? Was I missing the point completely? Does he want me to mention that we spent much of our adolescent years sneaking make outs and culminated with sleeping together in college every single time I saw him? That would just be really tiresome. It's absolutely possible to add sex to a friendship just once and then go back to normal. I'm not saying it should be a regular occurrence nor am I stamping it with approval, I'm just saying it's possible. I mean, I'm walking proof of both sides of the coin-when it works out and when the friendship ends. I've since stopped sleeping with friends. It isn't worth the risk.

But why is it that men claim they get over things, don't care, etc., but then always have to remind your ass later that they haven't, in fact, forgotten anything? To risk sounding like a cliche, "sh*t happens" and sometimes it does just that: happens. No need for further explanation or discussion. It happened, it's on the timeline, and it's over. And since they say you'll repeat your past if you don't learn from it, there will be no repeats or do-overs for this situation. One shot, one kill, that's the deal, so stop bringing it up. Friends forever though! Kisses (on the cheek)!

That bitch stole my line,


Blackie Collins

1 comment:

  1. i said it once and i will say it again.
    men give love to get sex,
    women give sex to get love.
    i know it is a generalization, but it's mostly true...i think the slippery part comes in where men start (whoops!) admitting that they actually have feelings, and (boffo!) women can admit, that they just wanted a little a$$ and get on with they sh*t (a la the poem "Bitches" in the movie The Brothers)
    it's called life : complex simplicity