Ask B.

A few weeks back, I opened up the blog for questions, advice or comments. I've received quite a bit and am thus starting a series called Ask B. So keep your questions coming. I'm not an expert, but I know what I'm doing, so ask away.

Dear B,

I'm 26, soon to be 27 in June. All of my friends complain about the fact that NY has too many females and they're having trouble finding a serious relationship. Do you think this is a dominant perspective shared by many. It's one of the many factors that I'm considering if I do make the move in 2011/2012?

M-A

M-A,

I'm not entirely sure why all these women are complaining about the lack of men. The truth is they're running around out there, you just gotta let them find you. I think that might be the issue though. Too many chicks chasing, seeking out the guys instead of the other way around. I'm not talking about the obvious ways either- calling them, making yourself overly available, doing more than necessary to bring them into your life, etc. I mean, the subconscious ways. These are the behavioral traits that usually seep from a woman's pores like sweat. The neediness, the desperation that wafts off you like perfume. It can be smelled from miles away and stinks. Neediness is never in season, so don't wear it out.

The NYC dating scene has been good to B. I don't know why-well I am pretty dope- but I think it has something to do with my acceptance of myself and being alone when necessary. I know girls who can't live without a man. Stay with a dude that isn't right for them verses be single. That's fine, I guess, but I'd rather be alone if that's what made me happy. I also do what make me happy in the end. If I'm not happy, most of those around me won't be either, unfortunately.

NYC is filled to the brim with guys of all types. Wall Street bankers, uptown thugs, Soho fashionistas, UES business types. I'd stear clear of the Chelsea boys unless you're looking for a kick ass gay friend to shop with. Bars and clubs are good for occasional hook ups, but truly utilize your social circle. There's always a friend of a friend who you haven't met. Accept as many invitations as you can and have a blast at every single one. Now, don't go looking. Just go and have a good time for you. The guys will follow. See, men like confidence without arrogance. So be conceited for a reason or fake it til you make it. Ever notice the girl at the bar, laughing it up, tossing her hair, enjoying drinks bought by others? It's because she doesn't care who's watching, at least she doesn't appear to. You never know, things could be falling apart elsewhere, but the attitude she puts forward is the one that counts. It's the one people see and in this situation, the one men see. Everyone wants to be in the orbit of a woman that's all smiles and good times. So be that woman, which shouldn't be a problem because what exactly do you have to be pissed about? Being single? Please.

So, please, make the move. Take this city by storm. I won't sit here and promise you a ring by 2012, but according to that movie, the world isn't gonna exist then anyway, so who cares:)

That bitch stole my line,

xoxo

Blackie Collins