Monday, December 28, 2009

It's A Wrap

I was reading an issue of Essence magazine when I came across Steve Harvey's "Three Ways You Know It's Over." I agreed more or less with his three choices-He won't go to counseling with you, doesn't care when you're upset or angry, and doesn't tell you where he is at all times-but it had got me thinking. Aside from the conversations or lack there of about the relationship, what are the telltale signs that you're about to be solo?

Whenever you're together, there isn't much to say
Not the comfortable silence that you enjoyed so much during the relationships, but the sad miserable ones, where you aren't quite sure what to say because you suddenly feel like you don't know the person with you in the room.

You sleep in a bed together
This is an obvious one. You lay in the same bed you used to tear up and instead it's quiet and still. The neighbor's have forgotten his name. You are no longer craving each other and if you are, whatever is in the way is enough to keep you from feasting.

You talk about other people to each other
This one is a hard one. You start to play the games again. Trying to make each other jealous or evoke some sort of sign that they care, so you start talking up the others that are trying to get at you. It isn't because you actually want them, but more because you want who's in front of you to protest, to beg you not to go there, to ask you to hang on a little while longer. But then there are the times when you talk about others because they really exist. And you two are no longer a reason to abstain from those others.

No Trust
We all know no relationship can work without trust. So when he's on his phone, texting away or you're G-chatting in full force, don't be surprised to catch him trying to see your screen or by the questions going through your mind as he types away. Who's he talking to? Who's she flirting with on that computer? If you have to ask, well, you know the answer.

You just know
In your heart of hearts, the place you run from in your mind of justification and excuse-making, is the place where you simply know, it's done.

That bitch stole my line,

Blackie Collins


  1. Oh Blackie,
    What can I say? You're a marvelous writer able to capture
    complex and instense topics & emotions with an ease & fluidity I admire, and soooo succintly too!
    Keep up the good work hun.

  2. I normally don't like Steve Harvey but your points are valid and very noticable.

    I always feel like when it gets to a point that people are trying to look through your emails, and phone that something has to be said. I can't stand any man who would search through my phone if i'm not up to doing it to him.

  3. so true. especially those nights when you're lying there on separate sides of the bed, barely touching... sigh, so sad:(