Friday, February 19, 2010

Dudes Are Trash

I got hit with a message this morning from one of my homegirls. The message was simple: guys are trash. Well, unfortunately, they are at at times and those times are usually days that end in the letter "Y." So I decided to have a male bashing day-just for today, ladies, after this build a bridge.


Why dudes are trash, brought to you by the letter 'L':


They lie. I have no idea why, but lying always seems like the best option for men. They assume it's because women can't handle the truth (cue Jack Nicholson), but that's not true. We may not like what your truth telling brings, but remember when you were taught (at like the age of ten) that every action has a reaction? Well, just because you tell the truth and we don't like it, doesn't mean we don't like the truth, we just don't like what the fuck you told us.


They sell the dream. As many of my guy friends say, "you just sell her the dream to get what you want." So sad, and so true. More like a nightmare.


They gossip. Men talk more than girls do. Seriously. I have enough guy friends and I've sat and listened to them gossip like a group of chicks at a nail salon. I crack up.


They have no idea what they want. Because of this, you get caught up in their confusion. While they're trying to figure out if they want you or not, they string you along, doing things that make you believe there's some sort of semblance of a relationship. Then they "suddenly" realize what they want and it isn't you.


They are sensitive. Seriously, the sun rises and sets out of their ass and whenever they aren't getting their own way, a fit is sure to follow. Men seem to have times of the month as well and they take full advantage of them, causing you nothing but headache and irritation.


They are foul. They get at your friends without thinking it's any kind of problem. Come on, dude. All the women in the world and you gotta try to sleep with my friends?


They boast and brag. Then come up extremely short.


They are insecure. They go out of their way to hurt you first, so you don't hurt them. Running for the hills, emotionally unavailable (which I don't recall asking for you to be emotionally OD either).


They forget how they'd want some man to treat their sisters or mothers. Forgetting this little factoid is major because they dog some other girl who isn't their sister or mother, but is a woman nonetheless. As my girl said the other day: men can be divided into two categories-the ones who respect women and the ones who don't.


Feel free to add your own. But remember, this is just for today. I don't do well with bashing boys, they're kinda fun too.


Happy Friday!!


That bitch stole my line,


xoxo

Blackie Collins

5 comments:

  1. Word up! even one of their own, Chris Rock, ratted them out and said that they have their own language...Lie-ese!

    I mean, I looooooooooooooooove men. period.

    However, the fact of the matter is, they are weak! If it was up to the human race to keep going and they had to go thru what women do, morning sickness, swollen ankles, stretch marks, swoleen breasts,toxemia, c-sections, and stitches anywhere near, their pleasure spots...the human race would have been extinct thousands of millions of years ago...maybe would have never gotten past Adam and Eve.

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  2. Women lie, men lie. women are just better at it. The one thing that keeps men in control is that women are emotionally weak.

    Women cry on a dime

    Women are clingy

    and most importantly women hate other women. Men see each other and ask "where you'd get those nikes". Women see each other and think "that bag probably fake".

    Men > Women and this is coming form a person that voted for Hilary over Barack

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  3. yes women are better at lying, but men still practice more at it!

    women use what the have to (try) to get what they want, they know men can't stand tears, so hey, i'm not mad at us!

    women are really good actresses, yeah we play that "clingy" role, to gas up these stupid mens' egos...we want that money and will do anything to get it...ever notice how most heffas bounce after they get what they want? $$$ and men bounce after they get what they want pu$$y? same thing.

    men hate too! that ni**a was asking him where he got those nikes from so he can go get some, damn unoriginal copy catters! dont hate on women who can spot a fake! and big ups to the broads who buy the fake shit, saving money and looking fly in the process!

    Women > Men and all the stupid folks who voted for Hillary! How was she gonna be President? She wasn't even a good First Lady! She should have been on her knees doing her "job" for Bill whilst instructing Monica Lewinsky to "tickle his balls or something, I got this!*"



    *credit Chris Rock

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  4. I'd complain vehemently if it wasn't so very true. Even the best of us aren't worth more than two dead flies on a good day.

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  5. blows kiss at Reggie for telling the unmitigated, unadulterated, infallible TRUTH!

    but i still, somehow, loooooooooooooove men!

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