Now, I've given my definition of a jump off before (check my relationship hierarchy post), but just in case you live under a rock or have differentiating views about the midnight cut buddy:
Jump off: "a casual sex partner." (thanks again Urbandictionary.com)
The conversation started off normally, one of the guys was talking about a girl he'd just met, just started "seeing," but since they got it in on the first night, and it was damn better than anything else, he'd started only going over for that. It seemed understood that this was all their relationship entailed. I, as usual, tossed in my opinions here and there, letting him know the female rules for a jump off and the time limit that I personally believe in (and have actually shortened to under two months based on some factors I'll discuss in another post). Just as the conversation was closing, one of my female coworkers, Barb, decided to chime in with her disdain for jump off relationships. I have no problem with other people having opinions, but remember that they are you and yours alone so don't try to make everyone else followers of your personal scripture. Well, Barb thought I needed to know how disgusting this type of relationship was, stating that it was demeaning and disrespectful for a woman to let some guy run up in her and roll. And she was getting loud.
Uh, okay.
I kindly let her know that it wasn't demeaning or disrespectful when both parties were cool with the situation, but Barb would have no parts, wouldn't even listen and I began to suspect Barb had been a jump off once without realizing or wanting it. She went on and on about how horrible those women were, how they made it worse for normal, self-esteem-having ladies. And Barb was getting louder.
Uh, ok. Completely unnecessary, Barb.
I almost snapped. I was irritated to no end and I let her know. How is it that it's all on the woman's shoulders, how is she a jezebel slut, but he's not even mentioned. Why is it such a double standard? If a girl is cool with the situation why is it such a disrespectful problem? Why assume that she has no self-esteem? Barb's response: "if you act like a ho, you get treated like one." I blinked several times, confused/stunned, because the word ho had never even been mentioned. Even my male co worker said that he didn't consider the girl he was sleeping with a ho, just what the situation was. Barb huffed and puffed that we were ridiculous and headed back to her perch across the room, which was smart because I was about to call her out. I just don't get the problem. If you're into it, you're into it. If you aren't, you aren't. Sort of like feng shui. If it's your bag, go for it, but don't pull out double standards and act like everyone else is disgusting for their own choices and decisions. Barb decided an email from her desk was necessary, where she angrily told ME (not the guy) that I should have more respect for women in general and not treat the topic so lightly, how sex is the joining of two souls, uniting and I should respect it. I do, and I don't sleep with every single person who crosses my path, but I wasn't about to defend my own opinion to Barb. Instead I told her she seemed stressed and I knew a guy who could work that out. She didn't reply.
That bitch stole my line,
xoxo
Blackie Collins
The conversation started off normally, one of the guys was talking about a girl he'd just met, just started "seeing," but since they got it in on the first night, and it was damn better than anything else, he'd started only going over for that. It seemed understood that this was all their relationship entailed. I, as usual, tossed in my opinions here and there, letting him know the female rules for a jump off and the time limit that I personally believe in (and have actually shortened to under two months based on some factors I'll discuss in another post). Just as the conversation was closing, one of my female coworkers, Barb, decided to chime in with her disdain for jump off relationships. I have no problem with other people having opinions, but remember that they are you and yours alone so don't try to make everyone else followers of your personal scripture. Well, Barb thought I needed to know how disgusting this type of relationship was, stating that it was demeaning and disrespectful for a woman to let some guy run up in her and roll. And she was getting loud.
Uh, okay.
I kindly let her know that it wasn't demeaning or disrespectful when both parties were cool with the situation, but Barb would have no parts, wouldn't even listen and I began to suspect Barb had been a jump off once without realizing or wanting it. She went on and on about how horrible those women were, how they made it worse for normal, self-esteem-having ladies. And Barb was getting louder.
Uh, ok. Completely unnecessary, Barb.
I almost snapped. I was irritated to no end and I let her know. How is it that it's all on the woman's shoulders, how is she a jezebel slut, but he's not even mentioned. Why is it such a double standard? If a girl is cool with the situation why is it such a disrespectful problem? Why assume that she has no self-esteem? Barb's response: "if you act like a ho, you get treated like one." I blinked several times, confused/stunned, because the word ho had never even been mentioned. Even my male co worker said that he didn't consider the girl he was sleeping with a ho, just what the situation was. Barb huffed and puffed that we were ridiculous and headed back to her perch across the room, which was smart because I was about to call her out. I just don't get the problem. If you're into it, you're into it. If you aren't, you aren't. Sort of like feng shui. If it's your bag, go for it, but don't pull out double standards and act like everyone else is disgusting for their own choices and decisions. Barb decided an email from her desk was necessary, where she angrily told ME (not the guy) that I should have more respect for women in general and not treat the topic so lightly, how sex is the joining of two souls, uniting and I should respect it. I do, and I don't sleep with every single person who crosses my path, but I wasn't about to defend my own opinion to Barb. Instead I told her she seemed stressed and I knew a guy who could work that out. She didn't reply.
That bitch stole my line,
xoxo
Blackie Collins
i agree with you...there is a double standard, but, on the other hand... people are entitled to their own opinions...this is just one of those situations...barb sounds like she is in need of some...ahem..."sexual healing" as marvin gaye used to sing!
ReplyDeletebarb, if that is her real name sounds a little bit "older" the generation between baby boomers and gen x is a little scatterbrained when it comes to sex...they were like between the repressiveness of the 50's/60's and the free love of the 70's/80's...so needless to say, they are confused!
always take into consideration the source/background of someone with differing opinions...
truth be told, i am a card carrying democrat, but i think like a liberal! i believe in freedom...but it's not free! every action has a reaction...i could go on...but who knows...barb may just be putting on...like you know that old saying "she protest too much" the heffa very well may have a porn website or escort service! who knows!
LOL @ your reply to Barb. Barb seems like she was a jump off who feel head over hills in love and was dropped like a bad habit. But to the post a jump off is a jump off if both parties are in agreement it is what it is, then let what is be (within time limits of course).
ReplyDelete"Instead I told her she seemed stressed and I knew a guy who could work that out" - LOVE IT! lol!
ReplyDelete