Ask B.

Dear B,

This is probably gonna set you off considering some of your blog posts, but I'm coming to you with my hat in hand. I hate giving head. Hate it. And when I do it, it's just bad. I usually let guys know before that I hate it and I won't even think about doing it until several dates have passed. I actually don't like to go down there unless he's gone down on me several times prior. It's so intimate, not to mention gross. I just hate it. Help?

Thanks,

No Knob Slob

Dear NKS (love the signature btw),

You aren't alone, babe. There is an alarming number of women who feel exactly as you do. I can't say I know where it comes from, but I can sort of understand it. I am going to say this though, if you aren't doing it, someone else probably is. That said, that is absolutely not the reason you should decide to do it-to keep a man. You should do it because you want to please your partner, give him just as much enjoyment as he's given you (several times!?). Now, you're right. It is an intimate act, but you're allowing him to do the parallel on you. So if you're asking him to go downtown, you gotta hop on the train and go with him at some point. I'm all about getting yours, but that's only going to last but so long and quite honestly, it's kind of rude. You cannot expect him to do for you and then leave him completely hanging. It isn't very gracious to say the least. And you mentioned gross. Gross? Have you ever gone down on a girl? Right.

Many men consider head a must, a major turn on and an even bigger one? A woman who whistles happily while she works. The girl who goes down with a mission and makes the game fun is the girl who wins when it comes to head. I've written about tips in earlier posts, but I also advise you to do a few things: One, start off with someone you're familiar with, someone who won't judge and will guide you. Let him know (nicely!) that you haven't always been open to the act, but want to do it for him. Say you want to please him and ask him what he likes. He knows, trust me, and if he's cool, he'll tell you. Two, ask a gay man. They both get them and give them; usually very well. A good gay friend gave me a quick run down a long time ago and my head game was forever changed.

Hate is such a strong word. Try not to use it...especially to him. It isn't positive and if you're stating up front that you despise it, I can only guess how much he's going to look forward to dealing with you and your head. A little positivity will go a long way. Think of ways that appeal to you to get yourself into the game. I'm a competitive person, I want to be the best at everything, so I look at it like a game that I must win. I'm also a huge control freak so talk about being in ultimate control here. You literally have his most prized possession at your utter command. I guarantee, the first time you see him go crazy with ecstasy, the first time he sits up and looks at you like, "wtf?!" (in a good way) or you see your first toe curl, that hate will turn to love. Cause you caused it and that power is something to behold. So, get on your knee's girl and turn his frown upside down!

B.