The Right Girl at the Wrong Time

I was brunching at a neighborhood eatery. A place where everybody knows my name and the owner personally says hello when I dine in. Me and my girlfriends were chatting, laughing and doing all things associated with a group of intelligent, attractive women. The usual suspects, the usual topics. One that caught my ear, made me instantly say, "I gotta write about that" was the notion of the right woman coming into a man's life at the wrong time and him subsequently letting her go.

See, a man must have all his ducks in a proverbial row before he can accept someone into his life on a serious basis. He must have a solid job, money in the bank, clothes in his closet, a strong and secure personality, void of drama. They don't need to be perfect, but they have to be on the right page. Healthy and happy people accept and attract other healthy and happy people. Damaged people, well, they attract each other too. So, when a man doesn't have his duckies lined up, when he is so on the wrong foot he can barely walk straight, he cannot possibly begin to insert a woman into the equation. She may be exactly what he never knew he always wanted, but he will let her go. He will release her out to the wolves with the possibility that some other dude will see exactly what he found right in her in the first place. It's frustrating, but true. And in the end he's actually doing the girl a favor, but we'll get to that.

Now, when he's on the right footing, walking tall, he will want and maybe even need a woman to share in his successes. The wrong one may come along, but if it's the right time, he'll go ahead and proceed anyway. Once again, it's more about him than anything else. Men are more selfish than selfless-that trait is usually reserved for women- and even if you're milkshake brings every single boy to the yard and has them coming back for first, seconds, and thirds, he won't if he simply can't get it together long enough to find a straw. He's too busy looking for himself!

Now about this favor. He is doing you a huge one by letting you go. Look, someone right can get their hands on you if he does. It may even be the object of your desire when he's in a better place. But for the time being, please exit stage left. It may hurt. It may seem like there was something wrong with you, but there isn't. It's completely and utterly the cliche: "it's me, not you." You must get out your magnifying class and look at things clearly, for what they truly are, not what you want them to be. Trying to be with someone who isn't together will only make you come undone yourself and no matter what time it is for anyone, that is never all right.

That bitch stole my line,

xoxo

Blackie Collins