Gangsta Luv

"You ain't felt love until a gangsta get up in it."

I never quote rappers when I'm trying to say anything of major importance, but Snoop was kinda right. There's something about thug lovin. There's an aggressiveness, a roughness, not to mention the tatted torso, back and arms. Think about it. Women have cried tears of joy over 50 cent's chiseled torso and muraled back. The posters of him holding guns and stories of jail and drugs sold millions. Tupac was the epitome of living a thug life and many women loved him for it. Perhaps the strangest example is Lil Wayne. Have you seen his babies' mothers? Have you seen him? Right. They love the danger, the rough neckness of it all. A good friend once told me she had no idea why, but she found Rick Ross sexy as hell. That's tossing the stone a bit far, but yea, there was a reason and it was the rough edges, the armed and dangerousness, the thug life. But make no mistake, when you crack that outer shell open, what's inside is just as great. Perhaps the best part is the protective casing of someone who's as soft as a Snuggie on the inside. I mean, you can't go hard all the time. And talk about loyalty. You go hard for them, they go hard for you. Usually for good. Even long after, you can always call on them. Holler if you need me, you know I still got you.

My mom used to laugh at me because I grew up around anything but thugs, yet I seemed to find boyfriends that fit the casting to a T. Something about me rebelling against my cookie cutter life. My thugs were usually fake suburban ones, but once I left the confines of our little world, you couldn't stop me from finding the hardest dude out there. And they loved me. I think because I was so not the around the way girl, the chick from the block. I made them laugh with my love of rock music (I once warranted a major laugh from my dude and his friends when I asked who Gucci Mane was), but can still talk shit and keep up with the dudes in a game of spades. One of my ex's was as thuggy as they come. Jail time, tats, drug-selling, the whole 9mm. It was as extreme as I'd ever gone, and few supported. While I was like a moth to a flame with him, I also knew there was no future. I may like 'em, but I don't have time to reform them. And after one too many fights in the club, I was like, "Anger management or move on."

My boy just told me that chicks our age shouldn't be into thugs anymore It's an immature thing. I guess in the end, it's another thing you outgrow, which sucks 'cause I love the thugs. Maybe I'm reaching to my alter ego, my crazy girl when I'm with this kind of dude, but one things for certain: the bigger the gat, the better my clit clacks.

That bitch stole my line,

xoxo

Blackie Collins