It seems the stories get more insane and out of pocket as we venture into our favorite topic boys and girls: relationships. Or lack there of, too.
You meet a guy, you go out, have a good time, maybe you go out again, or maybe in the interim period you find yourself daydreaming about him, creating full on scenarious, reliving old ones with just a BIT more exaggeration. Before you know it, you've got a whole ten year relationship in your head. Let me repeat that last part:in your head. You aren't actually together in real life! I know it's an amazing news flash, bigger than the second coming, but trust me, you can count on Jesus way more than your funny imagination.
Enter my co-worker, Kat. This girl right here? She drives me slightly insane, which sucks because I actually like her! She's cool in that hipster/Brooklyn way, which is perfect because she lives in Williamsburg and wears skinny jeans with Toms and slouchy hats hanging off the back of her head. Yeah, she wears Ray-bans too. Anyway, Kat has been regaling me with stories of Josh for quite some time. Josh, who is wonderful in every way. Josh, who connects with her on a completely Narls Barkley narley way. Josh, who quit hanging out with her a few months ago (after they slept together) and got into a severely toxic relationship with some other girl. The bad relationship has since ended and he and Kat had decided that "their connection was too strong" so they just had to stay in each other's lives...as friends. So now, I sit and listen to Kat talk about Josh in a way that, unless I knew the whole saga-licious story, would have me believing he was her boyfriend. Sadly, she's fallen for her own tale despite knowing the true (hollywood) story.
The other day, while swamped with work (it's been insane this week hence lack of blogs), Kat plopped down next to me and said: "I think Josh and I will have to have a discussion soon about us."
"Why?" I asked wondering if something had changed that would require an us in the first place.
"I just think as we go along, we're gonna need to make sure we're on the same page. Make sure the boundaries of our relationship are clear."
Funny, she should talk about boundaries as she clearly has none with him.
It should be said that from the time Kat informed me of her and Josh's new friendship, I have warned her of the impossibility of a friendship with him. See, it's quite easy. You can't be in a real life, normal, grade A friendship when you are in love with said "friend" and secretly creating a future in your head that involves babies and a white picket fenced house in a cul-de-sac. She doesn't seem to agree. In fact, she swears they are just friends, that she's being careful. She's being about as careful as a blind 6 year old running around Time Square with a pair of those scissors that cut through pipes. Right.
"Kat, honey. Why are you doing this to yourself?" I asked.
"Let me put it this way: do you over-analyze your friendship with me like this? Are we going to need a discussion about our boundaries in while?"
"Well no, but-" she started. I held my hand up in true bbm emoticon style.
"No, stop. I don't want to sound harsh, but you talk about Josh like he's your boyfriend and he isn't. I don't know what world you live, but you have clearly deluded yourself into thinking it's a world that involves you and Josh beyond friends. I promise you Josh doesn't think you guys are anything more than friends and if he wanted more, he'd ask for more."
Kat sat silent as if I'd just popped her imaginary world's balloon. She said something about having work to do and went back to her desk. I felt bad, which I never do, because I get it, I really do. This world sucks on a good day, so creating your own seems like a blast. Hell, mental people do it on a regular basis, but they are wrapped in nice white jackets in a padded dime-sized room with no windows. Nothing good comes from that line of thinking. So, back to reality, oh, there goes gravity yanking you back down to earth, the real world, which isn't just a horribly-in-need-of-cancelling reality show, but also happens to be a cool place to hang out and find a real relationship worth over analyzing.
That bitch stole my line,
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