Love in Social Media Times

There used to be a time when you could break up with someone, cut ties, and perform a little eternal sunshine of the spotless mind as you forced yourself to forget them, erase them from your memory.

Not anymore.

Gone are the days of simply deleting their phone number or reassigning it with the title of, "do not answer." You can no longer just hide out and skip a few parties where you may have unwanted "run-in's." It isn't just about common social circles, no, that's old school because now the world has been taken over by social media and networking sites. In the days that preceded Facebook, Twitter, and Myspace, you didn't have to worry about finding out "what they're doing" based on a status update or see pics of a recent night out with the girls via a twitpic. It all just clouds the process of moving on. Instead, you not only have to break up in real life, but you have to delete profiles, de-friend people, and of course, unfollow.

And that's not all. Now there's g-chat, AIM, yahoo messenger, and all the other numerous ways you've used to get in touch that must now be sliced and diced. Not to mention, Blackberry Messenger for all you BB users. It's just too much. We live in a world where there is absolute open access to any and everyone. You meet someone and instead of exchanging numbers, people now ask for your Facebook or if you're on Twitter. And then they get upset when you aren't linked in by updating every thirty-six seconds. How about just call me if you want to know what I'm doing?

My best friend, Maria, refuses to get on any of the social networking sights. Re-fuses. I always laugh and call her an old lady, but there's some merit in it. Why does anyone A) need to know what I'm doing at all hours, B) care? But there are people who chronically update, "I'm grabbing a beer with the guys." "I'm clipping my toe nails." "I'm about to get it in." "This party is the best." My personal thought is if you're tweeting or Facebooking it, it probably isn't that great, otherwise you wouldn't stop all the fun to let us all know. Not to mention, why do you want everyone all up in your business? Why live your life on the internet? But I digress...

It's cute and fun in the beginning. You tweet stuff to each other while sitting sitting on the same couch or write messages on G-chat when you're actually speaking on the phone. You find yourself having conversations on instant messenger all day, and yeah, it's fine. You're both at work, so that's the only way to get in touch. And it's just. so. cute. But be careful. Seriously, because if it ends, remember you have to break up with them repeatedly as you go to all your social sites and delete them. But you aren't done yet. Now you must block them on all your instant messengers, erase their PIN from your blackberry, snatch their name off your iChat, delete them from your blog roll, and so forth...and so on. A good friend of mine actually deleted her entire FB profile because she just couldn't stand to be on there anymore. Another checked his account for an entire year after they broke up. One friend went ballistic when he saw that his ex had just gone to the movies with a guy, via her status update. I say it again. It's just too much. Besides people lie on the internet anyway, so why bother getting to know them there.

I recently met someone and the only thing we exchanged were digits. I'm sure he's on every social networking site and instant messenger service under the blue sky, but he doesn't need access to me like that nor do I to him. Instead he shoots me a text when he wants me to know "what he's doing" or even better, he does that thing they used to do in the Ice Age: picks up the phone and calls me.

That bitch stole my line,

xoxo

Blackie Collins